Jus read a FORWARDED message from a best friend

i missed my best friend, yet there is still a line which i promised myself tht i cannot cross. It was no one's fault yet i still blame either me or him,i still cant really make it out. Ive searched myself and everyone to c that what we went wrong, yet i've failed.

After sometime i do realised tht i 've been using some defence mechanism lately to ease my anxiety for that, reaction formation on the lower end and supression and sublimation on the higher end, Freud's theory do make me understand my behaviour.......

i know i m giving up something tht i will regret in near future, i m not d type tht give up a best friend without fighting d odds, yet it's bugging me for quite sometime, if i did not gif it a stop, i might not come out from d so-called dunno how to describe kinda cycle...

i wondered he realised this thingy is happening to me,
or may be i ve failed him as a best friend,
or may be i m jus a so-so friend to him
or many be i m jus no body n it does not worth d fuss to get into the even superficial part of the problem,
or may be i had problem n he does not
or may be it easier to let it go.....

i do really miss him