Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Hip Hip Huray, Exam fever subsided

After a long vacation from my beloved blog, i've return to u. Thanks to the heavy pressure and polluted kia-su atmosphere, there was no mood to write to U......At last i've finished my profesionnal exam for my third year in my uni, dunno whether i pass or fail, it still a relieve to me. Sense some temporily hapiness, thoungh permenant peace only be reached at this friday.
Seems alot of things happen around me lately which i think is an good exposure to me, a road needed to walk in order to be a betterman :) i think i would list the thought rather than classified it, if not it'll sounds too surgical......

1) Kia - su is inborn, just the "penetrance" is difference. You either control ur kia-su-ness or it crontrols u.

2) We judge ppl. No matter how un-bias we wanted to be, we judge ppl by their covers, their diseases which they r having, their gestures when they r eating, their attitude towards something. It's really funny that i always keep reminding myself - must respect other ppl especially their individual-ness or so-called personalities, yet i still cheat myself, gosh...

3) We need a lifetime to really know a person. When i thought i knew a person, then i realiazed tht i hardly ever knowing her (or him). It's a "fast-food" life, everything comes n goes, even relationship......

4) The one person tht ppl care the most is themselves. Ironically, sometimes we care for others to satisfied ourself. So who do we care the most? ......

5) We see things in our own perception .

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Tired? Excuses or really exhauseted......

I keep on reminding myself i m not tired, everytime in the morning,
hunger for knowledge, hunger for input, hunger for more sleep,
it's an empty hole which never gonna to be filled, should i feel tired for filling tht hole?~?

human sense are easily fooled as mind power is great, when we wanted to do something that we believed it's true, thounsand of reasons and million of examples will be taken be us to support our will, isnt that true?
Sometimes we dont see the reasons and somethimes we dont want to see;
sometimes we cannot work it out, and sometimes there's not point to work that out.

is it worth it in the end?
i still believe, everything changes

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

A moment in concert, as if it's so real

That is a reason why i like watching live concert in DVD or even in a real-life concert, you will be hit by the atmosphere and especially in an unpluged session, just one instrument and the voice of the singer......

sometimes the songs fit into ur life, sometimes u touched by the songs, alot of thoughts, alot of feeling ......

......If you should stop for a while,
You will find me standing by, Over here at the side of your life.......
......... I like to hold you still, remind you of all you've missed If you have time .......
.......Why do you still run when you could walk with me, Life will pass you by when you move as quickly, What can you see when you're spinning around ......

Sunday, July 31, 2005

At last, i got my mood back to write my blog,
met my best friend yesterday, spending more then 8 hour talking the universe, didnt really know tht meeting her will brighten up my weekend, these stuffy aircone and recycling C02 in my room really dulling up my life.so, like usual, dailling up the net, click live-update (kinda like norton antivirus defination kinda thing), downloaded the defination, and updated......we talk about relationship, religion, future and what ever, we didnt even have time for cinema, realising tht movies are for ppl who have nothing more to talk, but just wanted to be together and enjoy d presence of each other.Relationship and commitment, love and responsibility,she and i wasnt the one tht believe love last forever, or some say ethernity, everything comes to an end any how, commitment and responsibility are the one which we are able to control of and that is lasting. Can someone else like or even fell in love with ur love ones, can u allow tht? i still trying to figure out my answer......

here's a story i recall, one student ask his teacher, what is love?The teacher ask her student to go to the wheat field and find the biggest wheat and bring it to her but with one condition, he can never turn back to where he had walked, so the young lad soon set off.In the end of the day, he was empty-handed back to his teacher. His teacher ask him why, he said that everything time he wanted to plug d wheat, he thought there maybe a bigger wheat that he may see if he walk further,but everytime the previous seems bigger then the latter,but he cant turn back.the teacher told him, this is the meaning of "love". Later in another day, the student ask his teacher again, what is marriage?The teacher ask her student to go to the forest and chop the biggest wood and bring it to her but again, with one condition, he can never turn back to where he had walked, so the young lad soon set off again.In the end of the day, he brought back a off-medium-sized wood back to his teacher. His teacher ask him why, he said that after he had walk half of the journey and noticed he was still empty-handed, and then he saw this medium-sized tree, so with previous experience, he chopped this tree, And his teacher told him, this is the meaning of "marriage".
Knowing someone we truely love is something beautiful, but somethimes it just happen at the wrong time, as we had already commited to someone else. just like driving ur car along the highway, u saw ur dream car drove pass u, u love tht car but didnt own it, it's either u cant affort it or the modale came out after u had bought ur car. U still cherish ur car even though it wasnt the one u truely like,u still keep on taking good care of her. And in the mean time u still keep on saying tht how wonderful if u had own the dream car......
In a person's life, he/she change at certain line of the station, nothing in the universe stay permenent, and tht's what i believed. When any relationship (friends, family or even love ones) had stated, it all based on a core, just like d earth, it has a core, no matter how did the surface change (volcano eruption, diseased, or even war), it'll be still the earth. Once the core is no more, there wont be earth. Just like the solar system, without the sun as a core, all the 9 planet (today's newspaper say scientist discover the 10th planet) will leave the system.
What do the relatinship between u and ur parents or siblings based on? blood. That is the strongest core we have. No matter how u changed, being bad or good, they will still be the same to u. Let say if one day the core collapsed in what ever reason, will the relationship stays the same? I doubt tht, unless blood wasnt the core of the relationship.What is our core with our friends, was it the trust?the look?the presense?the religion?the course u r attending now? What is the core of ur relatinship with ur bf/gf, ur innocency?ur insecurity?ur music talent?ur social security?ur presense whenever she/he is in trouble? We have to find out and relieze the core very early,as wanting to maintain a relationship with this forever changing life, the core has to be there.The worse example will be someone wanting to be with u becauese of ur beautiful teeth......u gonna get into troble when u r starting ur 50s.............

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Malacca, which i went with my friends yesterday~ dunno y, just kinda need to find a place to free my mind~ Uni's surrounding is too quiet without my coursemates around, which in not the perfect place for me, need some place with have human in it, not the elves type of feeling (like Lord of the Ring)~ Walking along the street in malacca brought back some of my memories and even awaken me that it's time to settle some unfinished issues and be once n for all. Seeing the old ladies and guys singing outdoor make me sank back when i was small~ all the sweet and bitter memories i had and still have....the person i miss the most is my grandma~ passed away when i was in my lower form six~ some ppl handle their bitter memories by forgetting them, i was a geniues, i kept them in the hidden compartment in my brain, i think geniues wasnt the best word to described tht~ anyway, ppl cry and sad away the incident, i on the other hand encounter the same old sad mood when ever some scene or issues trigger the hidden memories. Human brain can do wonders but sometines are not reliable, some memories are easily forgotten and some do not, lukily they r not returnable goods like those tht are sold in supermarket, if not ... ....

~wonder how was it like being old~ my friends always say that i worried too much and i m ahead of my age, weiredo who never live his youngster days n alr thought of the older one. but one rule is always in my mind, which is everything should be kept simple, neat n nice~ i think it's the rule of thumb of my life~

Feeling~ so sad that it wasnt like instinct, where the reaction to the stimuli were inborn.Do I really believed in my feeling? Sometimes kinda need some rational equation or so-called theory to persuade tht i should go with my thought~ Bought a souvenir to someone who cross my mind this night~

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Got a reliable info on the our research project presentation rehearsal yesterday~ got new info on our new semester, election of new class rap n some others important info which i reluctant to listen, just cant take the reality that my big gang in university is splitting, though still be studying the same location but does not breathe the O2 population in the same lecture hall......

after all d presentation, i hav the bad feeling that it's time i need to contribute to my fellow classmates.............i m elected as d class representative. My immunity had been strip off since i wasnt holding any post in PMC. It's like suddenly an elephant had dropped into my arm, so, gonna feed n bathe this animal until he find a new owner in 2006. Hopefully he has nothing similar with the character in jungle book, i m kinda wish it would be like Dumbo.......

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Just found a way to spit out my messy thoughts in an organized way, so here I go......

Don't know why, i m kinda into jazz and folk-pop after going in to universities.., starting to love sarah mclachlan and norah jones, noticed that human changes in everything, in everyway and in every time, what i love the most will still be the most but rooms are given out to some news stuffs. Love for Faye Wong's voice has started since when i know what music is all about~ her voice was the thing that i was passionate about, but she grew~ she change~ into the way that suits her the most~ leaving the shells that she make for herself when she wanted to b accepted n b special~ In ppl's lives, something always happen along the line and they relize that they r special when being themselves, just whether other ppl know how to appreciate it~ but the main issue was, did we know to appreciate that~!?

Listening to Sarah's Afterglow concert now~ the lyrics and her voice really hit me, -- Push-- a love song written to her husband, the music kinda flow with my blood~ the feelings she shows are the feelings i m searching,... "you pick me up and brush me off, and tell me i m ok, sometimes that's just what we need to get us through the day", i think that i m not too greedy, just a simple feeling which is complicated to get~